I hate Joe. I hate him so much.

The title pretty much says it all. He's a jerk. I asked him whether he wanted me to go there next year and he completely refused to answer. Doesn't that say it all? To make matters worse, he then just completely ignored me. And he didn't even try to contact me after I told him I hated him and blocked him. After 7 years that's the way he thinks I should be treated? I mean, even if he doesn't think of me as anything more than a friend, surely he should be somewhat upset at the prospect of losing me completely.. Shouldn't he?
I'm feeling so many things right now.. Hurt, angry, lost, alone.. Mostly hurt and angry. After all, for years now thoughts of him have always gotten in the way with other guys. And now, when I finally have time (only because I didn't enrol in forensics for next year) and money he turns around and acts like this. I could even unblock him and talk to him again (if he was willing to talk to me) but I know it'll just end up in me getting hurt again. I don't deserve that. Not at all. But to throw away 7 years of friendship? Not that it can be called that if he treats me this way. God I'm lost. And where do I go from here? What do I do? Do I let myself get pushed into Biochem in Palmy again? Do I work for a year? Do I go overseas (to Europe) with Kelly and forget all about the dreams of going to see Joe and exploring the States? Why have I let myself get to this point? Why didn't I tell him to go to hell earlier (and actually stick to it)? Why did he have to play all these games with me?
In other news, Jeroen's coming home tonight.. In about 2 hours in fact. Only because I went into town to book and pay for the ticket. What a mission it was to find some way for him to get home. So the day hasn't been a complete waste.